Thursday, July 3, 2008

Attention all male runners

It is not impressive nor does it make your dick bigger to speed up when I'm about to pass you, maintain that speed for about 2 minutes before dying and slowing down, allowing me to be able to catch you again and repeat the process. It is especially creepy when you audibly coax yourself - yes I have ear buds in but I'm not deaf to your breathless chants, especially when I am the main character. We are not in a race. You'll notice I am breathing comfortably at my 8:10 min/mile pace while you gasp for every breath. If we were in a race, I'd be about 45 seconds faster and so far out of your league you could only dream of using me as your pacer.

*Rolls eyes*

9.1 miles in 1:13:42 (8:06 min/mile)


Alissa said...

Oh my gosh that is too funny. I've had similar incidents at the gym.I love your blog by the way!

The Biz said...

DUDE. Who are these guys? Are they everywhere? Just Central Park? I am fed up!!
Pass me once, shame on me, pass me twice before slowing to a halt only to double over panting while I leave your sorry, egotistical ass in the dust - shame on YOU.
and I'm not even that fast. I would love to see the aftermath of a run-off between Senor Douche and EBank.