For today’s 13 in 1:48.54. I will resume with humor in the next post :)
1. I have been homeless since August 3rd and travelling as follows: MN-MKE-CHI-MAD-SD-COL-UT-NV-CA.
2. All that time on the road leaves little time for blogging, although plenty of time to confront each and every one of my thoughts from every angle. I thought I would journal and write about my trip more, but the self-therapy by just meditating on the open road seems to have taken the place of pen-to-paper (or fingers-to-keyboard).
3. Every time I sit at the computer, it’s to edit or to job search. These are basically never-ending tasks, so the blogging gets put aside because there are so many other things I could be doing that are seemingly more productive.
4. When I have had spare time, I have really tried to be focused on the people and places around me, rather than blogging about it. I have reconnected with so many people, friends and family alike, and I’ve cherished the quality face-time I’ve had with people all along my travels.
5. I have finally embraced this opportunity to travel and visit so many people. It’s hard for me, being such a planner, to not know when the end-point is, when I’ll get a job and exit this limbo stage, but I am appreciating it. The hardest thing about my mobility has been realizing how much I want to be still. It’s hard moving through other peoples’ lives when I don’t have a home base.
6. I’ve been thinking about what I would want in an ideal world, and there are so many contradictory answers to that question. There are so many people and opportunities in so many different places that I can’t have everything I want. It’s hard to know what the most important pieces are sometimes.
7. I sometimes wish that I didn’t have such a blank slate when it comes to my future. It’s almost as if I need someone to narrow it down for me, and then I’d be able to make a decision. Like “you will move back to NYC” or “you will try to live out West” or something. I think I get overwhelmed even knowing where to start.
8. I had an epiphany somewhere in between Bumblefuck and Nowhere, Nevada. I forgive Ron, and the moment I realized that, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, a weight I didn’t even know was there. I could actually physically feel it.
9. Is it possible to want to be with someone and not know how?
10. The list of people I miss is growing ever-longer. Above all, I think that is the hardest part of this journey and the part that I want to change by finding a place to be.
11. Has anyone actually ever enjoyed a job-searching process? It is consuming my time and energy, and it is just so hard. Not that I expected it to be fun and easy, but I just feel like I’m treading water while someone who thinks they’re drowning is trying to climb on me and pull me under.
12. On to the subject at hand: running at sea level in perfectly perfect temperatures is heavenly compared to the heat and humidity of the Midwest and the elevation of the Colorado mountains. Not that I acclimated to the altitude by any means, but dropping back down made me remember what it feels like to actually run instead of slog. I am easily running a minute per mile faster here at the same effort level.
13. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life, and I have been touched at so many points along this journey by this fact. It has truly made me not crumble to pieces and become overwhelmed to the point of insanity. Even people I don’t talk to often or haven’t seen along the way. I am lucky.